Her scent was everywhere and, standing in the exact centre of her room, Jasper was in the middle of it; inhaling it, savouring it, willing to drown in it.  He sunk on her bed and turned among the sheets, smiling at the crisp, crunchy sound the cotton made as he eased his arms and legs about the bed, cooling his skin against the cold, smooth surface.

His fingers reached about, gripping at fabric, imagining skin.  He eased his hand, palm down, underneath the pillow, caressing, stroking, exploring.  His fingertips touched upon silk.  Jasper pulled out his hand, revealing her white baggy trousers flecked with little red hearts.  He pressed the trousers against his nose and inhaled a deep breath; lavender with a hint of sweat.  Jasper grinned with glee.

She was single now, her Facebook status said so.   His door had finally opened; after all these months, she could be his. The lavender-smelling, black-haired, blue-eyed, most beautiful girl in school could be his.

Jasper bit the silk trousers and tore at it; chewed on fabric, imagining skin.

The sound of a lock turning open came from downstairs.  The fall of a light step followed, and then a door clicking shut.

‘Mum? You home?’

Jasper’s heart quickened.  It was her voice; husky and seductive.  His longing was now like a sickness; the need to have her consuming his entire being.


No answer came.

Her voice was closer.  Her feet threaded on stairs.  His heart was pounding.

Jasper sat up on the bed, ready to greet her.  He glanced in the mirror, turned left and right, and flicked a finger lightly along his fringe.  His eyes focussed on the door.  One hand gripped her pyjama bottoms, the other gripped the knife; just a precaution, in case things went south.

A light step on the landing.

The knob turned.

His heart bludgeoned his chest.

The door opened.

An expression of horror tinged her face before she screamed.   Jasper panicked.

He used his knife after all.


This week’s Trifecta word is:

DOOR: 3: a means of access or participation : opportunity <opens new doors> <door to success>

It was difficult this week, mainly because the first thing that came to me when I saw the prompt was the main character of the same name in Neil Gaiman’s Neverwhere; and all day I couldn’t shake off the thought.  Slowly, though, and grudgingly, an idea of my own did come.  I hope you like it.

33 comments on “Longing

  1. ann bennett says:

    what a way to say, “I love you”. You did a good job building but it was creepy him and the pajama bottoms.

  2. Draug419 says:

    Creep fest! o__O Stranger danger! Genuinely creepy but in that good creepy way.

  3. What an ending!! I think that fellow has a history! Dear me! Very nicely written

  4. Lovely piece Sandra. Loved the bit where it’s lavender fragrance with a hint of her sweat 🙂

  5. Kir Piccini says:

    sometimes unrequited love is a song that we all hum, sometimes it’s romantic (Snape’s love of Lily) and sometimes it’s just so creepy it makes a fantastic story. Guess which one this one is 😉


    • Sandra says:

      Definitely not the Snape/Lily kind; my heart still breaks whenever I think of that! 😦

      • Kir Piccini says:

        we watch a lot of Harry Potter in our house (Jacob loves the movies) and like you, my heart breaks every time we watch the Deathly Hallows for Snape..that man loved that woman, even after she was gone, even after she chose someone else.

        His character makes me believe in the healing and enormous power of true love.

  6. jannatwrites says:

    This is so very creepy! It was bad enough when he was rolling around in her bed, but gave me shivers when he found the pajama bottoms.

  7. rangewriter says:

    Oh no! This was really well done. Great suspense and a pow at the end.

  8. joetwo says:

    It looks like he killed his chances with her right there! Some great details here.

  9. KymmInBarcelona says:

    A man alone in your bedroom, uninvited, can never lead to any good. Pajama fetish! Great tale.

  10. Brian Benoit says:

    Wow, it’s like we’re along for a ride on a descent into madness. It starts out with maybe a wistful air, as if he’s just missing her, and then very quickly goes down that other path.”The knife; just a precaution” Yikes. Great job!

  11. Sandra says:

    The pace on this was terrific. A really unsettling story.

  12. Suzanne says:

    Oh boy Sandra! This is so creepy. It started to feel “wrong” when he began smelling her things. Wonderful job capturing the inner workings of a truly disturbed individual.

    • Sandra says:

      The fact that worries me is that I can very clearly imagine the ‘inner workings of a truly disturbed individual’. Yikes! Thanks for your comment Suzanne.

  13. Somehowe I think that pyjama and knife is not proper courtship even among the young today.. better send roses or even a poke of facebook.

  14. Linda Vernon says:

    Uh oh . . . not a good situation. Well done. I love that she was single now because her Facebook status said so! HA!

    • Sandra says:

      Isn’t that the norm these days? You’re not living unless your Facebook status says so! Thanks for your comment, Linda.

  15. atrm61 says:

    This is an extraordinary piece of fine writing-reminded me of O’Henry who is one of my favourite writers!It sent chills down my spine & I was at the edge of my chair.You definitely have my vote Sandra for this exemplary chilling tale!Well done!:)

  16. lyssamedana says:

    I loved this, I love the way it descended from romance to horror. LM x

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