That thought again, recurring.
Brain clutches at it,
Eyes glaze over,
What lies ahead, ignored.
A car comes forward
fast, unseen.
Whoosh.
Steering wheel, useless.
Zoom.
Crash.
One errant thought.
Two souls departed.
—
Target: Trifextra
The Challenge: Exactly 33 words including an onomatopoeia
Aim: Fun
Acknowledgement: Thank you Trifecta for placing me 3rd place in last week’s challenge; I really, really appreciate it 😀 (kisses)
End note: Hope you like this week’s post as well.
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Though I couldn’t bring myself to push the like button because of the personal tragedy aspect (wish they’d rename that button – it often gives me trouble), this was very, very well-written, Sandra.
Thanks a lot, Jody! I agree on the ‘like’ button by the way. Should be a ‘well done’ button or something.
well done – yes, that would be perfect! And I would’ve clicked that! haha
Loved the last two lines. Especially ‘errant’ thought
🙂 Thanks, Jennifer.
Congratulations, Sandra! Loved you piece last week.
I want to like this, which I do because of the writing (very much). Sad though but a full story! Though distraction has consequences sometimes.
I’m very glad you liked both posts. Thanks, Gina!
Been there, though everyone survived. Nicely written!
Oh! Glad you’re all okay!
I love the short, jagged sentences. It works really well with the story you’re telling.
Thanks, glad you liked it.
this was great. the story is wonderfully described.
Thanks a lot, Donetta.
Now I’m freaking out because I frequently lose my train of thought while driving! >__< Awesome piece.
I have a habit of driving all the way to work without really knowing how I got there – I understand perfectly what you mean!
What makes this so powerful is the fact that many of us have had that ‘errant thought’ while driving.
Yup, way too often!
What a tragic ending. Driving isn’t suited for multi-tasking, but I do have to admit that my thoughts have wandered while driving…scary what could happen.
Yeah, so true!
I drive a tedious road each weekday morning. I don’t talk to anyone in the car. Too many surprises. I have seen my share of near misses. Good work.
You’re a careful driver, then. Keep it up!
Oh my!I don’t believe it-this is eerie Sandra-I almost wrote the same thing-I mean about a car & an accident-remorse as aftermath but changed it to “murder”-my favourite,lol!Your’s is as always,an exceptionally good piece & congrats on making the top 3 last time:-)
Thanks on both counts, dear Atreyee.
🙂 xoxo
Sad tale but effective use of onomatopoeia.
Thanks a lot, Lumdog. I also really liked yours but my discriminatory server doesn’t let me comment on non-Wordpress blogs!
Tragic, but well written piece! And great use of onomatopoeia.
P.S. I agree on the “like” button. Let’s start a campaign for different button labels!
hehe 🙂 Should we add an ‘I hate it!’ button as well?
This is intense. It builds nicely to the end.
Thanks for linking up!
Thanks for the great prompt!!
Deadly distractions… sad but true. Very well written Sandra.
Thanks a lot!
I think about this all the time driving, Sandra. You nailed the feeling.
So do I! May be that’s why it reads as realistic!