copyright-Rich Voza
‘English? Française? Deut—‘
‘English!’
‘Remove your belt, madam.’
Madam! I’m twenty five! I remove my belt, an intimate gesture in a crowded place.
‘Your shoes.’
Shit! My toe appears, in all its cracked nail polish glory.
‘Pass through the detector again, please.’
I hobble on dirty floor holding my trousers up, my toe hanging out and my face a red burning furnace.
The detector beeps its objections.
‘Spread your arms.’
I stifle a laugh.
‘Ticklish,’ I explain apologetically.
More beeps around my hip.
‘It’s a pin, I had an operation.’
‘Step through here please.’
The gloves come on.
Cringe!
—
Click here for more wondrously woven weaves on this week’s Friday Fictioneers prompt.
Sandra's scribbles 
Made me smile….and the first thought jumped in my mind was: I wonder how many people would think – what a familiar situation! 🙂
Hehe! Yes, I’m sure many have met the wrath of the metal detector.
Yikes!
🙂
Loved this. Very funny. I presume she’s telling the truth about the pin, otherwise she wouldn’t be laughing.
Yes the pin is true. Technically this whole story is true except the last three lines!
Your title set the stage and then you followed up by showing the indignities of flying these days. And it was humorous as well.
janet
Thanks Janet.
This was a perfect description of how it goes!
I’ve been through too many already; I have more experiences that would make anyone cringe of course, but they would not in fit in 100 words.
This had me laughing, great story. Cringe!…very funny!
Tom
Thanks Tom, I’m glad you liked it 🙂
oh no! This is exactly, EXACTLY how it feels. “I hobble on dirty floor holding my trousers up, my toe hanging out and my face a red burning furnace.” –love this line.
Thank you oh fellow victim!
Oh boy. Do they at least by her dinner afterwards? Sheesh!
Great story 😉
They usually don’t, no.
I hate to fly! I have a metal hip… although pat downs are better than those scanners.
Once though as the were patting me down the man asked me if I had anything sharp on me. I replied, just my wit.
Haha! 😀 You tell ‘im!
Dear Sandra,
Funny…well written. I had a similar experience a few years back. I made the unfortunate mistake of wearing a pair of overalls with metal buttons. Set off all the bells and whistles so I had to be patted down. When the lady was through I smiled and said, “You realize that now I have to take you home to meet my parents.” (My husband said she was still laughing as we boarded the flight.).
shalom,
Rochelle
Hehe 🙂 You probably made her day! I cannot imagine how horrible it would be to have a job where you have to touch people at the command of a beep!
So realistic … how many times has something similar happened. You got it all right there. Well done.
Thanks a lot Sandra.
oh, cringe is right! well done.
Thanks Rich!
in some places, that personal search with gloves is random. like every tenth person. and in mexico they have a button that everyone presses as you leave the baggage area. you hit the button, and if the light is green, then you go. and if it’s red, they do a thorough search of your suitcase.
Unlucky if its red!
I actually never encountered a full body search – the kind that would need gloves at least – I took some artistic license here.
While fiction here, it is a common experience at airports all over the world. The screeners have to be serious because they do not want to tbe the next ones to let some crazy through!
Very true!
And yet another reason not to fly! This was adorable.
Hehe! 🙂 Thanks. Although it would take a little more than that to stop me from flying.
I went through a 20 min delay once because the extra battery to my camera, which I kept in a plastic bag, looked like a small bomb in the suitcase. Shoes came off, same routine…
Scott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/02/07/3686/
Sometimes the levels of sifting they go through is just ridiculous. My brother once kept being sent through the sensor because it kept beeping, then they realised it was a crumpled chewing gum aluminum foil in his pocket that was setting it off!
I guess what need to say is that, as long as they get all the real problems, I will deal with the delays.
Yes that’s true, anything is better than the possible alternative!
HI Sandra – this one made me smile but also made me cringe, just like your protagonist. I hope I am NEVER in that situation!
Good luck with that 😉 thanks for reading.
Betcha next time she tells them about the hip before she walks through! Nicely done =)
Thanks! 🙂
Yikes, the gloves… I have not felt that ever. But it’s a constant stress. Remember walking through in my Marrimekko flowery socks while I laughed with security how it matched my business suit. 🙂
Haha! 😀 Good one!
My husband has to fly extensively and is always worried about having to undergo this indignity! He hasn’t YET! He does encounter racism – not English born. Has two British passports (legally!) because of this. It would be ‘française’ rather than ‘Françoise’ by the way, if the security guard is asking her if she is French, rather than if she is called ‘Françoise’. Ann
Oh thanks for the correction!
Welcome. Do the same for me please, when necessary! Ann
Dear Sandra,
This was a lovely piece of writing that led to a perfect (for your story) ending. I walked the entire way with her and saw and felt it all. (I did not accompany her into the final room:) Great work.
Aloha,
Doug
Hehe 🙂 thanks Doug.
‘Madam! I’m twenty five!’ – love her reactions, so real.
Thanks Sara – I have actually been getting the ‘madam’ since I was 18; to say it irks me is an understatement!
I haven’t been on an aeroplane or at an airport for years (prior to 9/11) … I believe they’re a lot stricter now. Sounded so ominous – ‘the gloves came on’ … hope I don’t have to fly anywhere soon. Was dreaming of visiting the UK … yikes!
Yes it has become strict and tiresome, but well, as long as they increase the safety I won’t complain so much.
Very good. I cringed too. Why do we always feel guilty when we walk through those detectors?
It is the same feeling you get like when you pass in front of a police officer – you have to look down in case he suspects something fishy!
Oh, how I hate the “shoes off” rule! But this poor woman – ouch!
Hehe 🙂 thanks for commenting.
Very well written. I feel for the poor character.
Good job!
Thanks Abraham.
I love the simplicity of this piece. “Slice of life”, brilliantly told. 🙂
Thank you, I really appreciate your comment.