Clean our souls from this evil.
Wash our cobblestones clear of blood,
Rinse away our memories,
Of heads rolling, fear.
Let us only remember
From this rebellion;
The price we paid to be free.
Trifecta asked for 33 words plus another 3; rain, remember, rebellion. This week I am very late with my entry; so I had more time to think. But, unfortunately, instead of coming up with the perfect post, I came up with two (I hope) okay ones. The second is the following; It is not up for the Trficeta challenge of course, but since I wrote it, I thought I’ll give it to you as well.
‘Remember, remember, the fifth of November.’
‘C’mon we have the masks.’
‘This ain’t a rebellion, fuckhead.’
‘Geesh. Lighten up!’
‘Only if all goes well….Good, rain! It’ll wash off our tracks. Ready?…HANDS UP this is a robbery!’
Love them both Sandra! The first one is so haunting and sombre — and the second made me laugh out loud. I love your diversity!
My diversity! That is a nice comment! Thank you Suzanne 🙂
remember . . . or repeat in the forgetting
Like Suzanne above, I thought the first one haunting, very French Revolution, and the second pretty funny. Of course, it could just be because calling someone “fuckhead” just makes me laugh.
Arrived via Trifecta.
I’m happy; the French Revolutions was what I was thinking of when I wrote this. I even had allusions to Liberty, equality and fraternity. But the 33 word limit is a bitch.
The use of “fuckhead” is an easy way to get a chuckle out of me but perfect in use during a bumbling robbery.
The first/original entry was haunting.
Thanks a lot Gina 🙂
Both of these are really good!
This was amazing. Wonderful on both.
The first reminds of Henry the VIII, the second reminds me of Heath Ledger in the Joker – loved both versions.
Henry and Heath! Wow! thank you.
Both of them are awesome. I cried with the first and laughed with the second (:
And I smiled at your comment Draug. Thank you.
I agree with everyone here. I, too, cracked up at the fuckhead comment. Too funny 🙂
Hehe 🙂 I never thought my use of a crass word would be this popular!
Great descriptive words of the ravages of war.
Thank you Lumdog. I really liked yours too, but I have a problem and I can’t comment on non-Wordpress blogs, so I thought I’d tell you from here.
I like them both. The first is so very French Revolution with heads rolling.
I thought the rolling heads would send the message 🙂
Great imagery in the first one & a powerful lesson,loved it:-)
Thanks a lot 🙂
Robespierre and Guy Fawkes in 66 words! 1st one was brutal, but gorgeous.
I always go for the funny. The second one was my fav. The first one would be a good patriotic verse. http://annbennett2.blogspot.com
That first one is really good.
I kinda like the first one better too. Thanks for reading.
that first one is such a Les Miserables moment, I adored it.
Yeah, you kind of imagine Hugh Jackman praying to the rain, while drops filter through his clothes. His white shirt, soon wet, sticks to his abs …(Let me stop here. I got a little carried away there, sorry!)